In the past, I’ve had a very dark side of me that I’ve hidden (Allah knows). That it keeps bothering me, and that day to day I keep thinking to myself.. why do I keep doing it? I have that same feeling. I know that it may be ‘sinful’ or ‘haram’/’makruh’ but because I have continued on, I feel less… in faith. I feel like as if Allah will never forgive me unless I did a thousand prayers in one night. Sometimes I even say to myself, “Why stop now? I’m probably going to hell anyways.” So I am LOST and I want to be a practicing Muslim, but how do I STOP this other side of me???
How do I stop this addiction of smoking and other stuff? I want out!
I know I have heard that, “Allah will forgive you even if you have sinned as much as the foam of the seas.” BUT to me… I think not…
about your dark side… believe me Allah knows about it… knows your every move and intention and secret thought and is closer to you than the blood in your veins. He knows so it’s not really a dark side, it’s just part of being human and being a struggling muslim.
and we know Allah is MOST compassionate, MOST forgiving, MOST merciful, so how can we doubt His Mercy? and His own Words that say His forgiveness is the breadth from the heavens to the earth. He doesn’t expect everyone to be perfect and loves people that come back to Him. So let’s not say ‘oh He’ll never forgive me’ cause then we’re acting like Allah astaghfirullah, it’s His decision to forgive, not ours.
So take the time to acknowledge everything and ask Allah for forgiveness, ESPECIALLY today or tomorrow inshaAllah.
once you acknowledge your sins and shortcomings with Allah, start trying to do some good deeds. if u can’t stop doing those bad things right now, for every bad deed or thing you do follow it up with a good one and perhaps in time the barakah of that will help you overcome it. and yes i feel the same way about the masjid!! always makes me feel good so try to go there more often.
good luck inshallah
Allah created us and knows us better than we do. He knows we are weak and prone to temptation and sinning. Scholars say that sometimes Allah tests us with a certain sin so that we can run into His arms and make sincere repentance. Sometimes people live all their lives living aimlessly, without comitting any major sins. But when they do, they remember Allah and run back to Him. Sometimes Allah gives us problems so that we can turn to Him and say O’ Allah help us, because He has missed our voices of supplication. Everything happens for a reason and good things can happen from bad outcomes.Allah is the most merciful the most kind, he forgives only if we sincerely repent. But if we keep repeating the sin then who knows, it might be too late to repent, and then we will have earned Allah’s wrath.
What we must bear in mind is that by giving into our temptations we are becoming soliders of the devil. Harsh it may seem, but true. Why? Because once he whispers an evil deed into our selves, then we rush to do it with no self control.
This is why we must try our best to remember the plan of the devil, and the laughter and satisfaction he has when we actually give in and commit a sin, imagine, he goes and tells all the other devils he works with that he made you fall and they all laugh and say yes that person is so weak, of course he failed. This in itself should make you want to quit sinning.
But I know it is not enough and the devil makes us justify sins, which is why we end up doing them again, even if we had repented a few hours before.
I think at this point it means Allah is telling us we need an intensive self-renewal course. We need to evaluate ourselves deeply. What do I want to be in a few months? In a few years? Do I want to be on this same sinnng path? It doesn’t make me happy, in fact it makes me feel guilty and dreadful, but it’s a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself.
The answer is to try to break this vicious cycle. The devil may have a plan, but so do you and you have Allah on your side.
Take on an active role to improve yourself, with the aim to taste pure faith. Reach this state of faith and you will no longer worry about sinning, as you will have broken the cycle.
To start, here are some simple steps:
1) Start with your intentions that you will improve yourself from today – this means you are actually repenting sincerely to Allah. There are three conditions to repentence: (I) you have to really mean it (II) you have to stop doing the sin (III) you should never do it again. If you do these three points then you have actually sincerelly repented.
2) Start each day with the fajr prayer and make loads of du’aa for Allah to strengthen you against your weaknesses. Remember that Allah will test all Muslims severely because Jannah has to be earned.
3) Pray on time and try to pray in congregation, even if at home with your family. Try to visit the mosque every once in a while and pray in congregation, as this helps one’s faith.
4) Fill your time with useful activities. Learn something new, take up a sport or activity that makes you feel great. Think about developing yourself personally and professionally. Look at the state of our Ummah, we need Muslims to have self-control in order to be successful and raise the status of the Ummah high.
5) After each prayer, make a lot of supplication and thikr. Have Allah on your mind at all times, it will be hard at first, but aim to try to remember Allah at all times. Practice the sunnah of the Prophet(Peace Be Upon Him), if you pray five times a day on time, try to increase sunnah prayers as Allah loves those who perform voluntary worship. Gradually improve yourself, do not do it fast, and always be moderate in worship as the Prophet(Peace Be Upon Him) said.
6) Read about Islam, increase your knowledge as Allah has asked us too. Watch the film “the message” which is about the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him), to see how much he struggled for us to have this beautiful religion, hopefully this will strengthen your faith.
7) have good friends who forbid the wrong and enjoin the right. Having friends that tempt you to do bad things will not help you at all.
8) Keep a chart of the days you have not sinned and give yourself a tick! Reward yourself with something you like, pamper yourself for being good!
9) If you have sinned, then immediately repent, do not give up, and perform a good deed, like giving charity, as good deeds erase bad ones as Allah has told us.
We all have our own bad deeds, whether it be by eating things the doctor told you not to, to other stuff, no human is perfect, however the key is in achieving freedom from our desires and the whispers of the devil.
I pray that these points are helpful insha’Allah. please let us know how you are doing on your path to self-improvement to break free from the chains of the devil and sins and to escape into the pure, beautiful light of faith that Allah invites us too. It’s all down to us at the end of the day, it’s our free will, so we should try our best to use it wisely before we meet Allah.